Editorial Report A

Rough Rough Draft:

Section 1 Script:

• Introduce short clip from Patricia Arquette's Oscar's acceptance speech discussing the recent discussion on the gender pay disparity
• Voice over pictures and short clips of commentary of each of the following mentioned celebrities.
• "You have probably heard a hundred times, that women make on average 77 cents to every dollar that a man makes, and if you were to say that today, many people would probably tell you you're just plain wrong. But are you really? The place where the majority of this discussion on pay disparity is currently happening is in Hollywood, and it's being discussed by some of the top names in the business. One of most noted voices to speak on this issue in recent months, was actress Jennifer Lawrence, who wrote a piece entitled, 'Why do I make less than my male co-stars?' in  which she discusses the pay disparity she suffered from her recent film American Hustle. But she's not alone in her discussion of the topic. Other big names in Hollywood like Sienna Miller, Gwyneth Paltrow, Salma Hayek, Anna Kendrick, and Emma Watson are speaking out as well.

Revised Rough Draft:

Intro:

• Short clip from the video I found on women fighting for inequality through the years and our accomplishment of getting the Equal Pay Act signed into law by President Kennedy in 1963.
• Follow with a clip of Patricia Arquette at the Oscars, calling for women’s equality
• Video Clip of myself: “In the United States, in 2015, the average American woman makes 77 cents to every dollar a man makes. Or at least that’s what we’ve heard for the last ten years or so. Supposedly, after accounting for all differences in paid hours worked, experience, education, and full-time versus part-time work, a woman still makes 92-96 cents for every dollar a man makes.
• Clip of John Oliver’s talk show sharing his comedic view on the idea of “quantifying” the wage gap and how it can be solved
• Video of me: “Although the pay disparity for women is said to be improving, the same cannot necessarily be said for women in the entertainment and media industry.

So here's what got better:

- Obviously the revised piece, although about the same length, is more detailed and includes for video clips.
- The new edited version broadens the topic to women in more than just Hollywood.

- I found more videos and clips of the struggle of women through history to really show the evolvement of women and how we have gotten to where we are today.

- Change as far as form is that I have actually added into the rough draft the voice overs and pictures and owned in on an opening video clip.