Sunday, April 17, 2016

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

Here is what I've got so far: Rough Script

What you Should Know:

- First off, you should know that I am creating a video essay discussing the gender pay disparity, and especially the one that affects women in Hollywood.
- Due to the type of software I am utilizing for drafting my video, I can not unfortunately provide a link of some kind to a rough cut of the video. Instead, I have provided the full "rough script" for video essay that I am working off of, including when I will be speaking and when I will include a video and for what purpose.

Problems I know about:

- First off, I know you would much rather see a rough cut of the video, especially since I think it's pretty good so far if I do say so myself, but I have tried several times to get a clip up to no avail.
- I need to add in some sound effects to the video, still figuring out how to put those in.
- Honestly, I just want to know what you guys think of it so far, is it a good direction to take on the topic? Do I have decent first person commentary so far?

Strengths I believe are somewhere in there:
- Honestly, I really like my intro and my outro so far. I have a really strong intro and outro, which unfortunately is much better to see in the actual video.
- I also have a lot of really good footage I have collected to work with and the studies and sources I am referencing are very sound.





1 comment:

  1. I like your incorporation of clips! They seem like they fit really well into your topic. I especially like your inclusion of Jennifer Laurence’s essay on this pay gap.

    I like the specific facts that you include like woman making 92-96 cents per dollar a man makes. If you want to expand those ideas maybe you could look at what causes that discrepancy. Is that number for white women? Does it vary based on race? Sexual orientation? Weight? Appearance?

    You also say that “women are submissive” which is a big generalization. Maybe suggesting that society pressures women to act submissive or some other way media or society influence a woman’s submissiveness.

    You description of the video clip in which a woman describes why she accepted the first offer instead of pushing for more is really interesting. Does she expand on why she didn’t push for more? If not that might be something interesting to speculate on or research.

    I’m still a little unclear about what you are arguing. Are you saying that women get paid less than men? Are you arguing that they should be paid more? Overall, your essay does a really good job of getting at the heart of the issue. Adding in some extra explanation and analysis of your points and clarifying your stance will make it even better. (:

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